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I have been with my partner
for 18 months now. He has a six year old little boy who lives with us for
half of the week. He wasn't married to his ex - but they had a long stormy
relationship.
They were together 14 years
in total. In that time she managed to get married to someone else, buy a
house behind his back, sleep with someone every time she changed jobs, the
list goes on and on.
I don't think the
relationship was particularly happy - however she was his first love and I
can understand that is very difficult to let go of. Once they had a child
- his sense of duty and responsibility kept him where he was. She doted on
the child and wanted more. However her idea of family life was the three
of them confined within the walls of the house. She controlled the
relationship between father and son, what they did, where they went etc.
So - he didn't want any more. He then found out she was seeing
someone and he chucked her out.
She is still with the guy
she was seeing - they have bought a house together. He also has a daughter
- although I'm not sure how much contact he has with her. My partner
has to pay CSA to his ex - even though we have to provide for the child
for half of the week - which really annoys me!
Anyway - I get on with the
child really well, he's a bit spoilt and isn't brought up in the way I
would bring mine up in, but that's not really my concern. My problem
is I am desperate for my own family and my partner is reluctant. I'm 30
and hadn't seriously thought about children until I started living with my
partner and his son. Once I had developed a relationship with his son, it
then appeared that my maternal instincts kicked in.
He says he needs time,
however I'm beginning to resent the child and my partner. I resent him for
not allowing me to have what he's got. I feel like I have to look at and
deal with every day how fantastic it is to have children but I'm not
allowed to have my own.
He says he needs to make
sure we are solid before he will have more kids. But I don't think that's
the real reason - I think it is because he's got the best of both world at
the moment - he has the bond with his child, spends half a week being a
parent and then half a week being able to do what he wants, without having
to think about babysitters etc.
I also resent the fact that
he thought the ex was 'solid' enough to have children with despite her
shenanigans and I'm not.
