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I met my partner at work, he
was a buyer and I was an administrator although we worked 100 miles apart
we were in touch over emails regularly and over time became close.
He was married to his wife
of 19 years with two teenage children and I knew this and was quite happy
just to have him as a friend. I had a 2 year old from a previous
relationship. And there is a twelve year age gap.
After some time he was
posted to my contract and asked if he could stay with me to save on his
lodging costs. I was horrified...oh no a man messing up my house!!
But I agreed as I didn't know how to say no and he came to stay mid-week.
Nothing happened, we were
friends and I loved being single and independent.
Slowly I realised I loved
him and he loved me. I am not a marriage breaker so told him he had
to find somewhere else to stay and I stopped seeing him. It was hard but I
would rather have had a broken heart than hurt everyone.
After three months of no
contact he rang and told me he had left his wife and moved out.
After another three months I told him I would be willing to try to make a
relationship with him. Unfortunately I never figured on the ex............
My partner tells me he met
his wife when they were at school and all his friends were going out with
her friends so they became an item and they stayed that way. His
friends got married to her friends and he got married to her, before he
knew it he had two kids and the time had passed.
He says they were like best
friends a brother and sister relationship and she had threatened to leave
on many occasions but he had always begged her to stay as he wanted his
children to be happy. He didn't know what else to do as she had been
all he ever knew.
When he left she didn't even
blink an eyelid and later said she would have left herself but lacked the
nerve to actually do it.
After a year of living
together and my partner visiting his children most weekends (50 miles) he
one day upped and left while I was at a friends after a really trivial
argument. I couldn't believe it, I was shocked and gutted, when I
rang he told me he was unsure about us and everything and had to go home.
After a couple of hours I
got a grip and managed not to contact him, but lo and behold the next day
he bombarded me with call and texts begging to let him come back and as he
had only been gone a day I agreed.
Then the bombshell was
dropped. He wanted me to move to his home town (not a nice place),
leave my job my daughters nursery and my home in a lovely village, just so
he could be there for his kids of 13 and 16....wonderful, my little girl
gets uprooted just so his nearly grown up children can be happy.
Guess what? I went. And
since that day I have regretted it.
His ex takes half of his
wages, his children come round only when they want money or to mess up my
house (which I pay for). They beg for clothes and shoes and phones
when he already gives their mum £800.00 a month, she goes abroad at the
drop of a hat, her most recent holiday was all over Christmas and New Year
with only one days notice, which left me with two teenagers, two adults
and a 4 year old in a two bed house.
We can't get married as he
wont start the divorce till after the 2 year separation mark. He is
scared to death of her, we can't have children as she made him have a
vasectomy and we can't buy a house as he still pays for half of the house
she and her new partner live in.
The children are rude to me
and my little one for no good reason I can think of and even once said
they wouldn't hold my daughters hand to cross the road "as she was nothing
to do with them" even tho they were spending my money, wearing clothes I
had brought them and sleeping in my house!!
Charming, my partner will
not do anything to hurt his children and always puts them first. I
realise this is admirable but it becomes tiring. I pay all the bills and
food costs as he has no money after giving his ex half, which she spends
on suntans and holidays, surely she must have to clothe the children with
money she gets?
So there you go ladies,
think very hard before you take a step like I did. Although I love
my partner, if I had truly known what was coming I would never had
answered that email!! I will hang in there because I now have
nowhere else to go.
Anyway had better get back
to work as someone has to pay for the ex's shopping trips and hairdressers
bills!!!
