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When I met my Husband when I
was 23 years old, I had come from a single life and all of a sudden had to
consider his two boys then aged 7 and 9. I did not have a clue about
parentage and even struggled coming to grips with them. I knew my
Husband had baggage when I met him although his Ex-wife was then amicable
and wanted the best for her children. After a while for reasons which I
will not go into, and when he didn't go back to her, everything changed.
His Ex-wife was more
concerned about money, so much that she did everything in her power to
stop him seeing his boys unless he gave into her demands. He struggled
emotionally with this and it put added pressure onto our relationship
because I had to be there for him.
Over the years it has been
an uphill struggle, I think the fact that he is still around and loves his
boys beyond belief, and does the things that she asks, still upsets her.
I think she wanted him to disappear to make things easier for her, so she
could tell the children their dad didn't care about them. She thinks
she holds all the power because they live with her and there was
definitely parental alienation syndrome involved, the lies that have been
told about my and my Husband are nothing short of sick. We have never told
his children why their mum and dad split up because it is not our place
to, but it was certainly NOT because of us having an affair as she tells
them. I think the last tale I heard from a friend, I would have only
been 13 when she claims our so called affair started, which again, I find
sick.
I know the children are my
Husband's world and over the years I have built a solid relationship with
them. I cannot have any children with my Husband so I have done everything
I can to be there for them but I told them from the beginning, I am NOT
there to be their mum, they already have one, but what I can do is be
their best friend, which I think we have certainly achieved.
It takes a lot of guts and
patience to be a second wife and stepmum and when I was asked the question
the other week, would I do this again if I had the chance, I would say
definitely but I would have handled his ex-wife differently and not bent
over backwards to make her life easier.
