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I met my partner three years
ago at a friends birthday party, we kissed and agreed to go out on a date.
Over a week later he phoned me to ask me out, we went out got very drunk
and he confessed that he had a six month old baby boy and that he never
wanted any children and maybe never will. My friends had failed to
inform me of this fact so it came as a bit of a shock to be honest but I
figured in this day and age it must be a common feature of dating a 20/30
something man!
After a few months of dating
I needed to get out of my parents house so we agreed to move in together.
We bought a house big enough for weekend visits from his son and soon had
the bedtime routine sorted with little Charlie sleeping through the night.
One of the things that attracted me to my partner was the fact he was such
a brilliant dad, a natural in fact! Next came potty training!
Charlie wasn't so keen but soon followed Dads example and sat on the big
toilet, then a couple of weeks later stood at the toilet just like dad.
The ex factor has never
really been a big problem as communications are kept to a minimum
essential health type banter between my partner and his ex. Luckily
I've never had a problem and we are all polite to each other which helps a
lot.
Little Charlie goes through
phases of being very good and being very, very bad which is hard! He
knows how to play dad and is an expert at making him feel guilty. 'I
hate my daddy' is a common one at the moment as is laughing when dad tells
him off. 'I want' is a dying phase at the moment as is 'I'm not
listening to you' On the other hand, on good days, 'I love you
daddy' is common and its hugs and kisses all round.
I have a good relationship
with Charlie but I am always trying to find ways to help a situation which
is out of my control. I can't bring his Mummy and daddy back together and
nothing in the world will change the fact that he's part of a complicated,
extended step family situation which must be confusing and unsettling at
times. My partner doesn't want any more children and although I do
and always have done I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I
won't ever have that opportunity. It's hard, very hard. At
least I have had the experience of being a step parent which I consider a
challenging but rewarding one.
