Thousands of Second wives/partners can identify the very familiar controlling and domineering bad behaviour of their husband’s ex-wife. We have discovered there is a predictable pattern and a very common theme to their behaviour and have called it the Bitter Ex-wife Pattern.

Do you have to deal with a bitter ex-wife?  Here are some examples of bitter ex-wife behaviour:
 
Ex-wife seeks to control ex-husband's time with their children.
 

Member comment: “My partner received an e-mail with a list of places he wasn’t allowed to visit when he had his children with him – including Tesco because it was her favourite haunt and she liked to shop there. She also insisted he couldn’t take them within a 10 mile radius of her home!”
 
Ex-wife dictates who should/shouldn't be around the children, ex-wife seeks to have second wife, girlfriend, grandparents excluded.
 

Member comment: “Even in court she tried to insist my husband was evil for taking their children to see their paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins! When the Judge asked her why she said she didn’t like any of her ex-husband’s family and they’d all be talking about her!”
 
Ex-wife demands to vet ex-husband’s new partner.

Member comment: “She told my partner she wanted to meet with me to see if I was up to her standards and to see if she approved of me being around her children!”
 

Member comment “my boyfriend’s ex-wife is a bully and a control freak, she told him I wasn’t allowed to around their children until we were engaged to be married!”
 

Member comment “Their mother does not approve of me although she has never met me.”

Ex-wife makes child contact as difficult as possible - offer the children up for contact when she knows the ex-husband is working then accuse him of being an uncaring father when he can't see them at short notice.
 

Member comment: “My boyfriend is a Fireman and works shifts which are planned out months in advance. His ex-wife thinks his shifts should change at a moment’s notice so she can dump the children on him at any time to suit her so she can have a rest. When he tells her he can’t look after them because he is working she has a screaming fit telling he isn’t a good Father!”

Many ex-wives have wasted valuable Police time with their lies and unfounded allegations. Here is a very common example.
 

Member comment: “My partner had a post office re-direction on his mail; it was in his name only. For some reason, best known to the Post office, they delivered two of his ex-wife’s letters to our home by mistake. My partner did the good deed and forwarded them onto her. Three days later we had the Police knocking at our door investigating a complaint from my partner’s ex-wife about him tampering with her personal Mail. The Police were embarrassed at having to look into this and actually apologised for putting us through this!”

Ex-wife bad mouths ex-husband/wife/girlfriend/family and make children repeat it.
 

Member comment: “Can you imagine what it feels like to hear a 5 year old say “You stole my dad from us and we’re going to take you to court and tell the Judge to get all your money!” 

Ex-wife involves young children in court action, CSA and burdens them with her adult concerns.
 

Member comment: “My boyfriend’s 12 year old son turned up at the weekend demanding to know why his dad wasn’t paying more money. He said the sum, (accurately stated the amount) his mum and he got from the CSA isn’t enough for them to buy a bigger house and a new car!”
 
Ex-wife insists on calling the children on their mobile phone while they are supposed to be relaxing and enjoying their time with their father yet blocks any calls ex-husband may make to the children.
 

Member comment: “She called our house so much when the children are here it became a major disruption to meal-times and bed-times. We asked her to stop calling so much but she wouldn’t listen. She insisted she had rights to call the children whenever she wanted. In the end we had to change our home number and gave her the number of a mobile phone which is only switched on at certain times throughout the day. Now, we can have a meal in peace and get the children to bed without their mum calling saying she is lonely and sad without them”
 
Ex-wife refuses to give children privacy when their father calls to speak to them; she will listen to the call and coach the child in what to say.
 

Member comment: “My partner calls to speak to his children once a week but she is always in the background telling them to ask him for money or shouting things so he can hear. This makes a change from her hoovering around the phone every time he calls to speak to them!”
 
Ex-wife insisting the children call there father by his first name and to call her latest boyfriend 'Dad'.
 

Member comment: “My husband went through a very difficult time trying to keep in contact with his children. His ex-wife disappeared with the children and re-appeared with yet another bloke in tow. She didn’t want my husband to have anything to do with his children now she had another bloke in her life. The children were only 4 and 7 at the time and she made them call their dad by his first name and refer to her latest boyfriend as Daddy”
 
Ex-wife enrols anyone who will listen to her into her hate ex-husband campaign.
 

Member comment: “We met up for dinner with a couple who have known my partner for years including when he was still with his ex-wife. They told us they saw her recently and all she could do was moan on and on about how evil my partner was to her. It’s been 4 years since the divorce and she has re-married. They had tried to change the subject but she kept going back to talking about my partner. I don’t think it’s humanly possible for her to move on!”

Ex-wife refuses to 'allow' ex-husband to have any part in the children's education. Many bitter ex-wives have shown to be habitual liars trying to influence and support schools in their failure to treat the father of her children equally.
 

Member comment: “When my partner first contacted his children’s school he was treated like a criminal. The school’s attitude towards him was appalling and they refused to communicate with him unless his ex-wife gave them permission! He contacted the local Education Authority to complain about the school’s lack of equality and general conduct. It turns out his ex-wife had gone to the school and given them a pack of lies that he wasn’t allowed to see the children, he was a violent monster and she and the children lived in fear of him. The school didn’t seek any evidence from her to back up her lies instead they simply chose to believe everything she said and they branded my partner a violent criminal. An investigation was started and the headmistress almost lost her job over this, she apologised to my partner for the way she and her colleagues had treated him. I doubt she’ll make this mistake again!”
 
Ex-wife claims everything is the ex-husbands fault and she was totally blameless throughout the marriage.
 

Member comment: “During their very acrimonious divorce my partner’s ex-wife claimed everything was his fault and that she had done everything she could as a dutiful wife to make their marriage a happy one. She seemed to forget about her daily drinking habit, her secret spending and the 3 men she slept with, including the husband of their next door neighbour!”
 

Ex-wife has an unhealthy interest in ex-husband's new girlfriend/wife by spying on her.
 

Member comment: “I went through a terrible time when I first met my partner. His ex-wife was spotted hanging around outside my house and was spotted outside my place of work. I found the whole thing very frightening, one night I was having dinner with friends after work she appeared from nowhere and threatened me in the car park. I called the police and to cut a long story very short I took her to court and had a restraining order placed on her. I had done nothing to this woman, I’d never met her before yet she was obsessed with me and my life – very, very scary!”
 
Ex-wife makes false claims of abuse of the children by ex-husbands new partner.
 

Member comment: “My husband’s ex-wife had such an issue with me being around their children she used to make up stupid allegations in the hope one of them would stick. She has accused me of being unfit, violent, abusive, drunk, dope smoker, having sex in front of them – the list is endless! Yet she has never once stopped the children from coming into my home when it suited her. The judge threw all her allegations out of court and told her to stop wasting the court’s time!”
 

Ex-wife writes long waffling letters using solicitor’s terminology because she believes she has legal training due to the fact she spends so much time in their company.
 

Member comment: “When she stopped getting Legal Aid she refused to pay for a solicitor so she started writing letters to my husband about the most pointless things. We used to laugh at her letters, every couple of sentences she’d thrown in some Legal Terminology. If you didn’t know any better you’d think she was doing it for a laugh!”
 
Ex-wife destroys all ex-husbands personal belongings she can get her hands on and destroys family photos in front of children.
 

Hundreds of members have said this has happened to their partner. The ex-wife destroyed everything and ripped up family photos in front of the children.
 
Ex-wife never questioned ex-husband's ability to be a good father and to care for the children by himself until they were divorced when, according to her, he became totally unreliable and couldn't be trusted with the children unless she gives him a complete list of dos and don’ts.

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